what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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