Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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