so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
