Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
