i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
