anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
