his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
