Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
