So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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