i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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