I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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