His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think my vagina is haunted
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
