Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
