He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
