careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
