we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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