Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
