Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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