i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
