Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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