My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
