I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
