P.S. I can't hear my feet
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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