Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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