I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
