you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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