I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
