At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
