u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
