worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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