I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
