I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
