at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
