honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
