I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
