it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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