I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
