don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
