LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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