I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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