I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
