Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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