just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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