i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
