Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
