The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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