Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
