kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
