You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
