i barfeds in our rink
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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